Physical Attraction: How important is it?
In the last post, we touched on unrealistic expectations. This week we will be looking at physical attributes. How important is the appearance in a relationship? In your relationship? What was the thing that drew you to your partner? That thing that makes you smile whenever you think of them? Is it a physical feature? Or a combination of features and characteristics? I will share mine in the end 😊.
Physical attraction is what sparks relationships. If there is no interest, nothing happens. When you give the wide-eyed stare, the double take, the gasp that takes your breath away for a moment, that is a sign your interest is peaked. The next steps aren’t planned and are usually awkward, and in some cases embarrassing. These moments can be flattering and cute to the other person. Meanwhile, you hope not to make a fool of yourself.
· What are some of the features you look for in a partner? Feel free to add your attractive features in the comments.
We all know the surface isn’t everything. Physical attraction draws you in, but it should not be what keeps you there. In the instant, that something happens (accident/facial deformity, body changes), you should not want to bail on your relationship. That shows you were in lust, not love.
Some people say physical attraction isn't everything. It's about the heart. Yet some relationships end and divorces happen because of changes in appearance. Has anyone ever seen the movie, Shallow Hal? He was drawn to what he ‘thought’ he saw, but in the end, he stayed because of the real person he discovered on the inside.
When a couple gets together with no physical attraction, as time goes by and people change, you may find yourself growing apart. There won’t be anything there to draw you in, because you did not have any physical connection in the first place.
This article reiterates what is known about relationships regarding physical features:
The author writes, "But no matter our personal level of attractiveness. or our partner's, as we get to know, like, and respect each other more, our attraction naturally grows and deepens (Kniffin and Wilson, 2004). The longer we know each other, the less important physical attractiveness becomes to being in and maintaining a long term relationship (Hunt et al., 2015)."
Tell me your thoughts about this scenario:
You hurt yourself and placed on bed rest. Your friend comes to take care of you and spend time with you, helping you out until you get back on your feet. You begin to feel drawn to them. You look forward to them coming over, and interestingly you start developing a different kind of love towards them. A more romantic love. It isn't because you are only physically attracted to them but because you see a different side to them as well. They are nice, genuine, loving. Displaying characteristics, you've never paid attention to before. Now, this is not a terrible thing at all. But what if one day you meet someone who has the body and features you've always envisioned? Do you throw away the qualities you discovered in your friend or start a relationship with this new person?
Feel free to comment below with your favorite physical attributes about your partner and return next week to discuss: “Matters of the Heart.”
As promised, what attracted me to my husband: his eyes and smile😍...his touch and his integrity came later 😉
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